Back in the day Alex and Ash used to have co-conception sessions as they started to plant seeds for their visions to materialize. Ash recently even found a scrappy old notebook with 'Eva' scribbled all over one of the pages- the christening of Dame Products' signature sex toy! So here we are. Alex's vibrator is a real live thing, and her company is creating toys to openly empower the sexual experiences of womankind. Eva is the first Hands-Free, Strap-Free, Non-Intrusive Couples Vibrator. Sounds like fun, huh? How cool to come back together, talk about the power of our holes and learn about how she was born!
How were you born?
Here's how I was blossomed into this world: I was a full month late. And in case you are wondering, that makes me a Pisces with a Leo moon and Libra rising. I'm super stoked about my zodiac sign. Your rising is who you are trying to be, your moon is your internal being. So I come across as Pisces and really chill but I'm not chill. There is nothing really chill about me. I've got fucking opinions and I'm proud as fuck. And my rising is a Libra- I'm always trying to be fair and balanced and it drives me crazy.
But anyway, I decided I didn't want to come out of that hole. I wasn't dropping, I wasn't making moves to the outer world so my mom had a c-section. She was delirious at first so she didn't hold me after. She told me that my grandmother had told her that breastfeeding was disgusting so I wasn't breastfed. I came out all ugly and crackly because there wasn't much fluid left- maybe that's why I have such dry skin till this day.
I hear now-a-days they only give you two weeks before inducing. I would have been a totally different person...my natal chart would have been totally different!
I definitely feel like your birthing experience has so much to do with who you are as a person.
Were your brothers born via sections also?
No. She went to a few doctors until she found someone who would support her doing it vaginally. It's weird to think of my mom deciding this was important enough to go to more than one doctor because she is usually just so trusting of doctors. It is interesting that it was such a thing for her. I left an awful scar. I bet you that's what it was, knowing my mom.
On another note...
I found my cervix the other day.
BB: Thats exciting! How did that come about?
A: Gyno Training Associates came into the office to try Eva.
BB: What is a Gyno Training Associate?
A: Cervix models! No, but seriously. They get hired as part of med school training to help doctors learn how to talk about gender and sexuality while they practice examining their vaginas.
We used speculums and everything. My cervix was hard to find. It was really high. But I loved doing it.
BB: What did you love about it?
A: It's the door to life and you never see it!
What are your thoughts on giving birth?
It's gonna be the coolest thing that I as a woman ever do and I'm definitely gonna do it the all natural way. But then after that, I don't know... I guess I'd wanna continue doing it that way. I'm so torn. Thinking about sex toys for example (this will come full circle, I promise) people are always telling me, "Do you really want to be using a sex toy? Don't you want to be having a natural experience?" And I'm like, "Yeah, I want to have a natural experience, but sometimes, I just want to have a different experience."
I don't walk everywhere; I most certainly use tools of technology to get from point A to point B sometimes. I don't like it when people don't acknowledge that's part of a vibrator. They are efficient tools. They can really help you get from point A to point B faster. People always ask why I talk about efficiency when I'm talking about sex. Well, sometimes, I only have so much time... and that's okay. And is that ok with birthing too? Sometimes I feel I wanna do this once because my body can do this amazing thing but after that it just seems kinda inefficient and maybe I can plan it and get on with my life. With other things I'm like, boom boom boom and sometimes I think it would be great for birth to be like that too. And I think that's okay. But we will see. Is that somehow unfair to my children? I know I really want to hold my child immediately after, and I don't want to be in a hospital.
BB: #Brilliantbit: your body takes care of that efficiency for you. Typically, second time moms have much shorter labors. So maybe if you let nature take over you might get to that boom boom boom too!
What are you currently birthing?
Sex toys. Making sex toys better. Eva is a hands free clitoral vibrator that a woman can wear during penetrative sex. It has these bendable arms that go under the labia majora and move with the body.
So right now we are making it water proof and making it work better. I'd love to get more woman to come in to the place and let us take pictures... that's the real info we need to make it better.
WE ALL HAVE BRILLIANT IDEAS BUT ACTUALLY TRUSTING OURSELVES ENOUGH TO MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF THEM IS WHERE A LOT OF US GET STUCK. WHAT GAVE YOU THE FINAL PUSH?
I got fired. So that was a real push. That made me have to decide, okay I'm gonna try and do this thing and not try and look for another job. And I made a prototype that stayed in place okay. I had a moment of clarity: an orgasm.
BB: A good push!
A: People say you can orgasm while giving birth! Actually if pigs are sexually stimulated, while being inseminated, it makes them more fertile so maybe there's something to it.
What has the labor been like?
It's a slow process... very slow. But there's always a solution.
BB: That's what we say about labor :)
A: It's definitely my baby. I don't like when people refer to their company as a baby but here, it makes sense.
BB: Why not?
A: If your company is failing I think you should kill it. Not the case with a real baby.
We are launching our new site in March... will take on some investors. Hire up. "Birth" new products.
Any favorite #brilliantbits?
Your vagina can double in length when you get aroused!
Also, I feel like I can squeeze my pelvic floor muscles enough to orgasm without touching myself. I'm gonna try that tonight.
BB: Let us know how that goes